My kid is already just like me!

A few years back, when Aimee was living with Beth out in Pullman, Beth mentioned something about parents always talking about their kids. Beth said that she used to find it annoying when parents would never talk about any other topic, and would usually even find a way to bring up their kids to at best tangentially related topics. (not that I know anything about moving a conversation to my own thoughts via at best tangentially related topics) But once she was spending so much time and energy on Aimee she found that she would do the same.

Well, if I continue writing I feel that I will probably end up doing the same, just as fair warning to anyone who might be reading. Because even though D-Day (for due day) is still a little over five weeks away, I often spend a bit of time out of every day telling people about Neville.

And what I wanted to share with you today is that it's fascinating to me how much I am already projecting myself onto this little life that I've only seen as pixels on a sonogram screen and as random bumpings out of Cassandra's belly. When we visited Beth over Labor Day I told her that my biggest goal as a parent is to let Neville be herself without having her live my life. The example I gave was that I was pretty sure Neville would grow up a Husky fan just by proximity to me, but that if she ended up wanting to go to WSU for college, I want to move beyond supporting (because supporting sounds like I don't approve, but will accept and therefor voice my acceptance to overcome the lack of approving. Got that?) and go straight to just being glad that my kid found a good place for school.

But not having her live my life will be a constant struggle. It turns out Neville is a pretty active kid, in utero. Sometimes Cassandra wakes up in the middle of the night because Neville has decided it's time to do some gymnastics. At dinner she'll just give Cassandra a punch. And definitely whenever Cassandra is sitting in the wrong position Neville will let her know. Now, obviously this is not unusual, but in talking with our co-workers it sounds like Neville is carrying this out a little longer than most. Cassandra has specifically been told that as birth gets closer babies will settle in to their too-cramped environment and calm down a bit. But for the last two weeks Neville has not reached that point, even though we were told to expect it by now.

With each passing day of Neville staying active, I attribute it to my own characteristics. She's full of energy. She's a bit of a smart ass. (hence the pokes during dinner) She'll enjoy dancing. She likes moving when music comes on, so obviously she loves what we play. Most importantly, she has kind of a "hey, life can't get to staid and boring, let's liven the place up" attitude. Or so I feel. Neville's not settling down for the final month because she doesn't WANT to. I'm certain all sorts of developmental experts will tell me I'm projecting a bit. But that's my point. I know that I am, and I still can't stop. She's my girl, and I'm going to be proud of her, but of course she's going to be a lot like me. I mean, doesn't everyone want to?